It’s time to close the books on this place. Walk away and never look back. All my fallen lovers and friends will resonate in my memory like the sweet sound of humming birds. Where does your journey begin? Because mine starts here! It starts with taking the first few steps or taking the first step to be precise. My first step is letting go. There isn’t a recipe for success just like there isn’t a recipe for disaster, so take a deep breath and hold on tight, because life is one hell of a ride.
How do we move on from the things we hold dear in our hearts? For me, I’m still learning this trait. Here is a little story for you. This past weekend I visited the University of Virginia, my first home away from home, my first college, a place where I had almost my first everything. It was an exciting weekend seeing old friends and sorority sisters, but it was also a very emotional weekend. I was humiliated and insulted by many old acquaintances and friends, I felt reject and ignored by a few others, and lastly, I dealt with a personal loss of self-respect. However, though all of this I still managed to put on a smile, hug people good-bye, and wish them nothing but the best. I thought all was fine until the night I got home. The weekend began to sink in and what had just happened to me began to surface. At this moment in time, a place I once called home has become a hellhole were I felt unwelcomed and uninvited. How could that be? How can a place I hold so dearly to my heart turn into something so ugly in my mind? Oh dear old UVa, how did you turn into this mess in my head?
I began to relive the horror of the weekend in my therapist’s office. “He said what to you?” she asked when I told her about my friend’s boyfriend. “He did what to you?” she asked when I told her about the douche frat boy. She was exhausted listing to me talk about the weekend and told me “ No wonder you are tired! You have been through more humiliation and trauma than people deal with in 4 years but within 4 days. She got up and gave me a hug, told me I was in no shape of form to be taking exams, and that I needed to rest. She made me promise never to return to visit that place ever again. Can I keep this promise, I don’t know. I hope so. So this is where my new journey begins. I finally submitted the rest of my college applications. Next semester I am going to be in a new school putting UVa and everyone at UVa behind me. It’s time for a fresh start not but not a clean slate. I will forever hold the memory of UVa and the girl I was at UVa with me. Who I am today might not be the greatest person, but I know this person will one day contribute to my success.
